


afraid (of you, me, and everything in between)

by grilledtrees



Category: Saw (Movies)
Genre: Alternate Universe - High School, Amanda and Lynn's relationship is kinda background sorry, Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, F/F, Light Angst, M/M, Pining, Song Based, Unrequited Love, idk man
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-02-21
Updated: 2018-02-21
Packaged: 2019-03-22 00:19:27
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 863
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13752258
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/grilledtrees/pseuds/grilledtrees
Summary: Adam Faulkner-Stanheight really didn't know a god damn thing.





	afraid (of you, me, and everything in between)

**Author's Note:**

> "i feel so weird around u  
> i’ve never really felt like this  
> you’re a friend and a good one  
> i’d rather keep it bottled up"  
> \- Eerie Summer - Weird Around You

There's a lot of things Adam knew about. For example, he knew about Lynn and Amanda- though, they'd never willingly let him know about them. Adam was proud of himself for knowing about a lot of things despite how vague that sounds to anyone other than himself. 

Often times, despite knowing all of these things, Adam found himself thinking about how  _little_ he knows about other people. One person in particular stood out to him- Lawrence Gordon. Adam didn't go out of his way to talk to Lawrence, of course, but somehow found himself talking to him more and more. Lawrence had a charming smile, Adam noticed. He also noticed how Lawrence would step further away from him whenever Adam took out a cigarette. Lawrence always amused Adam, even when he was having a shitty day.

Then Adam noticed that Lawrence was becoming closer to him, sharing secrets with him. About how his parents are getting divorced, how scared he was of having to choose a parent, of not knowing what's going to happen. Adam found himself wishing that Lawrence would share more with him. It was so  _strange_ to Adam. He felt like Lawrence was his best friend, but something more all at once. 

He ignored his own feelings. 

* * *

 

When Lawrence confessed to Adam about his crush on Alison, Adam smiled and punched Lawrence in the arm softly. "You're pretty hot dude, she'd be blind not to see that. Also, who would say no to you?," Adam had said, trying to keep his voice light. Lawrence looked uncertain, biting his lip. Adam ignored the pit in his stomach, and urged Lawrence to ask her out. "What's the worse that can happen? She says yes?," Adam had said, his voice dripping sarcasm. Lawrence finally cracked a smile at Adam.

Adam later realized that he knew nothing about himself. He held so much pride for knowing little things, yet now, he realized he was ignorant. He felt sick to his stomach when he realized he was in love with Lawrence. He had told Amanda, panicked, while she was over at his house. Adam did not, for the first time, know what to do. Amanda was dumbfounded, as she herself didn't know what to do. So when she left, Adam flopped onto his bed, staring at his ceiling, trying to figure out what to do with his feelings. 

Adam decided then and there that he had to cut ties with Lawrence. For his own good.

* * *

 

Lawrence tried to talk to Adam a few times before getting the hint that Adam was no longer talking to him. Adam saw Lawrence's hurt expression, and quickly turned away. 

Adam saw Lawrence holding Alison's hand and felt tears start to drip before wiping his eyes and claiming this is what's best for him. Adam really did not know anything about anything. 

Despite everything, Adam's feelings never wavered for Lawrence and that made Adam feel more shitty than ever. So he started smoking more. When Lawrence was around, he cut back some. He didn't want Lawrence to pull away because of his habit. _'No need for that anymore'_ , Adam mused. 

* * *

 

Around the time graduation rolled around, Lawrence was the valedictorian. Not surprising in the least to Adam. After the ceremony, Adam immediately turned and walked out. "Adam," Lawrence had called out. Adam turned for a moment, before continuing to walk. "Adam!," Lawrence called out louder, rushing to catch Adam's arm. "What do you want Lawrence?," Adam sighed, avoiding looking Lawrence in his eyes. Adam's heart was beating fast. "Why did you push me away?," Lawrence asked, not bothering to hide the hurt he felt. Adam met Lawrence's eyes for a split second.

"Did you just- just hate me? What is it? You've ignored me up until now. I thought we were best friends?," Lawrence spewed, his eyes glaring at Adam, and Adam couldn't breathe. "Was it Alison? Do you not like her?," Lawrence asked, irritating Adam now.

"No! It has n-nothing to do with her at all!," Adam shouted, hoping sarcasm was clear to Lawrence. Lawrence's eyes softened. "Did you like her?," Lawrence sighed, and Adam clenched his fists. He wished Lawrence wasn't so god damn oblivious sometimes. Adam unclenched his fists, feeling defeated. "What do you want me to say?," Adam breathed out. "Alison and I- We weren't really dating," Lawrence confessed to Adam, "It was- It's hard to explain. We did date. For a month. But I realized something about myself. I wasn't ready to accept it." Adam looked at Lawrence, puzzled, but still wary. "I get it if you don't want anything to do with me after this," Lawrence murmured, "but I think- no, I know that I'm really really in love with you." Adam stood there, shell shocked. "Are you fucking kidding me?!," Adam yelled, making Lawrence flinch, "I've been crushing on you so  _damn_ hard and that's why I've been ignoring you and you just- just come out and say it?!" Adam was laughing hysterically, drawing the attention of others. Lawrence smiled softly at Adam, who now had tears in his eyes from laughing so much. 

Adam really did not know a god damn thing. 

 

**Author's Note:**

> thanks for reading this if u read it
> 
> srry i am so tired and im sorry for the mistakes made lol
> 
> love yall


End file.
